Entry by Pao in January 2012–unedited ver.
January 14th, 2012 Comments Off
It has been some time since I wrote a diary entry, I cannot remember the last time I did. So many things has happened since. I cannot recall all of them, despite my huge head. Please pardon me. And my head. I am now two years old, although I do not see any significant signs of physical growth, but logically and emotionally, like a full grown two year old carrot, I am a tad more mature. IMHO. I think I will still look the same ten years pass, the same old me, the same old wedge head carrot(odd), but perhaps a little more vulnerable inside. I will still be asked by strangers(and carrots) who am I, what do I do, and maybe even why am I here. The answer to the last I do not have. I still witness signs and Phenomenons occasionally. Sometimes they appear as ordinary objects and I miss them, sometimes they stand right in my path. They will point the way and lead me, I faithfully believe. I have learnt that sometimes you need to have faith, in things and people. For example, having faith in my sharp teeth that they will not hurt you. Peace. I guess that is one important lesson I have learnt as a new year beckons. If you ask me about my future, my ambition, my dreams, well, look at me, I am a wanderer. A hermit. An explorer. An unclassified. A subculture.
A ‘non-A’.
I cannot envision myself staying in one place for too long. I cannot be permanent. I wish to see with my very own eyes, unique as they are, this world I have been put into, every corner of this planet, I wish to lay my feet, wave my flag and speak its language. Perhaps one days when I have accomplished this, then I can enter the parallel universe and continue the next phase of this never-ending journey. Fear of the unknown I do not have, for I do not give thought to these things. My friends? I believe they will be wherever I go. X, R, Whao and PE. I also hope to find the village of my ancestors eventually. More wedge head carrots, in other words. They must be out there somewhere. And the Phenomenons will lead me to where I truly belong.
P.S. You have heard of 353, haven’t you? If you have observed, the number 3 looks like my right eye. We encounter 353s everyday without noticing them, but it could be the clue to what lies ahead for me–Phenomenon No. III. I have to find out the connection between the number 3 and my facial feature. If you happen to spot these three numbers sitting next to one another, please take a picture and send it to me. Remember to note down the exact location as well, so that I can pay a visit to the place when the time is right. I look forward to your good news.
October 2010 – Pao, X, R
December 15th, 2010 § Leave a Comment
Pao will meet the trucker cap guy again. It cannot be avoided.
Familiar lines to Pao. He thinks he has heard someone whispered it into his ears before, but he can’t quite remember the details. Was it in his dream? Oh let me update you, Pao has taken on a new hobby – sleeping. Or should I say, dozing off for a long period of time. Blame the Dreams exhibition. It made him slumber too much he is really finding it hard to stay awake these days.
X.
The trucker cap, sharp protruding teeth guy.
X looks like Pao, yeah that X.
Pao has a sudden urge to meet X. His brain felt a sudden surge of neurons/memories. What were those images? He has not seen them before. The people, or should I say, things in the pictures, they, they look all alike. Oh wait, they look like…
Pao.
So many Paos! Oh but wait, pause for a sec, just reqind a few blinks back, yeah this image, and in the image is X. There’s someone else besides X(no, not Y). That other someone looks like Pao .
Pao?
The real Pao . The original one.
ME!
Go closer, yeah zoom into the picture, erm, 150% please. Right, there’s something else at Pao’s feet. It’s a, erm, a long thing with a stuck up tail.
EH??
Now this is kinda hard, can you visualise it for me? Draw it out, here, below, please. Not everyone can follow your trail of thoughts that easily you know.
What in the world is that thing?? How big/small is it? (If you judge by the extent of zoomification, that ‘it’ should be roughly, 5.555cm in height). Oh, so that’s just at Pao’s socks ‘innit! That’s MINIATURE.
Is it a rare creature?
I bet it is!
Weird looking, doesn’t have a name(or maybe it does but definitely needs 5.555cm length of alphabetes to make up his name indefinitely), in fact quite ugly, and can’t seem to fly – definitely a very very rare species, must be worth a lot of money shall we cage it up and auction it at Soootheby’s(the black market version) we will be rich wooh!!!!
Shucks. Where’s it gone!! It disappeared! I can’t see it at… 200% zoomification! Bloody HELL!! It was quick ‘innit.
(As quick as Ronaldo?)
Nah, don’t think that’s it’s name. Too common these days and I don’t think it has a preference for females.
Okay, please do not put such thoughts into my head. My head is on the verge of exploding at 200% zoomification well well we’ll bid our time. That 5.555cm sausage with a tail. Fine, let’s call it Ronaldo for now…
Update as of 2011: Ronaldo is now known as R
July 2010 – Pao & X makes physical contact
July 16th, 2010 § Leave a Comment
Pao finally meets X.
I do not know why they took so long to meet, but yes, this is it. If you have read the previous month’s entry, X was plain X, almost a joke(that’s April, 3 months back). What happened for the past 3 months then? It was the preparation phase, which includes:
1. Lessons on social etiquette
2. Techniques of hand-shaking
3. Proper eye-contact procedures
4. Medical health tips for heart-attacks
5. Body language workshops
6. ‘Controlling your body muscles in extreme situations’ lectures
7. ‘Identifying friend or foe’ training
…and last but not the very least, 8. ‘Sustaining a friendship’ immersion program.
Yes, it takes this long for Pao to get the hang of it. I’m still not too sure if he will make it in real time, real world, for the first time, as you know, Pao, no you won’t, and never will be able to know, Pao.
If I were to tell you that Pao had long knew he was gonna meet X, you’ve gotta believe me. Pao knows he’s not sleepwalking, but wait, Pao takes out a small, crumpled index card(blue-lined) which has tiny black scrawls on the lines. Three squints later emerged the letter X. Oh yes, that guy with sharp teeth, trucker cap, and erm, ‘looks like me’. Upon looking up the hand was already extended. Not a very long extension, about 3 footsteps away(I guess that’s the privacy Pao has to now step out of) and small angling fingers. They look well-primed and sincere. But where are Pao’s eyes now? THey are fixed on the trucker cap. There is something about that cap which held on to Pao’s nerves. It is uncertain right now what the sticky factor is but that aside, I think I just heard Pao’s heart skip a beat. Or was it? And another. A split second rewind reveals, to the tiniest fraction, a flash of delight on Pao’s face. Delight? What’s that to mean to Pao? Add to that a dash of joy nd warmth from the pits of his heart – a concotion of strange chemicals Pao has no previous reference in his mind. The hanging arm seemed to be extending its length bit by bit, edging towards the 2nd step, punctuating the self-constructed space(a right to invade, according to ‘Techniques of hand shaking’ lesson 2).
The first flesh-to-flesh contact is to KO in…5…4…3…2…1.
0.
1 2 3 4 5 sec the handshake lasted. It was a firm one. Then it ended hastily. Both hands quickly retreated(or slithered) back to their comfort zones and right here, right now, I decipher a line of beads down the side of Pao’s palm. No doubt, it’s a natural phenomenon. Then both parties went away in separate directions. Neither looked back.
Silence. I read that there are varying degrees of ‘society anxiety’. But to simplify things(as it always works with Pao), I’ll play it down to one word to sum it all up – shy.
How shy is this word shy? Well, it depends on how you see or write it. If shy is small and very long, it’s really shy. If it’s s h y, then it’s probably just pretending to be shy and needs some initiative on the other party’s part before a move can be made. If it’s shy in ultra condensed italics, well, this is kinda hard to read. You should probably leave it alone. I suggested to Pao that he prepare some topics for conversation on those small index cards(blue-lined) for emergency situations. Or at least when he feels ultra condensed shy, with a teeny bit of s h y.
April 2010 – First sighting of X
April 16th, 2010 § Leave a Comment
What can a short trip to a foreign land do you to? Why do we need holidays in the first place? Doesn’t it point to the fact that fundamentally,
beneath everything that happens on the surface, we dislike to feel the same way or do the same things repeatedly?
Variety!
That’s what we need.
A sudden(or planned) change in direction.
An intervention to routine. A twist. A surprise.
Something out of the blue.
Plain randomness.
And embracing it as part of life’s journey.
So what happens when one fine day you meet someone who looks like you, acts like you, behaves almost in the same way,
except…he has a slightly different set of teeth(and positioned at a weird spot). Like this:
Do you,
1. Ignore him(you did not see him at all, did you)
2. Cast a second glance but walk off looking disinterested
3. Try to recall if you have a long-lost sibling(from someone somehow in the family, illegitimate or not…)
4. Think that you’ve finally found someone you can identify with and say hello with a huge smile!(try)
5. Give consideration to the possibility that it is an April Fool’s Day joke(someone’s just pretending to be like you)
and he will cease to exist/resume normal form tomorrow.
March 2010 – Chocolates & carrots
March 16th, 2010 § Leave a Comment
This is an entry from me, Paomaster. In a moment, you will understand why Pao cannot write today. You see, Pao’s stomach has been growling at a higher frequency than usual recently. It is like looping music(noise) 24/7, and you cannot lower the volume or press the STOP button. It’s not my fault that I’m reducing the amount of dark chocolate content in Pao’s diet. It’s only for his own good that he doesn’t eat too much chocolate(I’ve yet to tell him that). I know I’m going against the advice that eating chocolates can put you in a better mood and it definitely works for Pao(he is evidently less grouchy after two bowls of melted dark chocolate), but that honest fact is, or should I say the very much hidden fact of the relationship between chocolates and carrots is… a high level of dark chocolate(especially if it’s more than 70% cacao) will cause a carrot to exhibit abnormal behavior, like, falling in love subconsciously, and I mean fall in love way too easily. For example, Pao may find himself falling for objects, animals, insects, plants, fruits, nature(soil), other kinds of vegetables and even worse, the scarecrow.
Dark chocolate is blinding!!
(And too intelligent for a wedge head carrot)
So you see, it is a delicate balance I have to maintain for Pao if he is to remain sane(I shall assume that he already is). I noticed recently that he has been fondling plants in the field, especially the group of beans and sprouts(very enticing due to their petit nature and curly-wurly-flurty tails) right at the far end of the crop area. If it weren’t for the rat who came scurrying to reaffirm my suspicion, I bet Pao would have covered the right and left squares of broccoli and french beans(equally or even more flirtatious) without my knowledge. To be honest it wasn’t an utmost ultimate upset but rather made me a tad intrigued and slightly peevey at first.
Still, I cannot imagine what a baby bean-carrot will look like, or, for imagination’s sake, a broccoli-carrot miniature running around the house. Don’t mention the sprout-carrot-broccoli kind please.
(Okay, the wedge-head-carrot-sprout-broccoli kind.)
(The wedge head carrot-scarecrow infant)
(The wedge head carrot-scarecrow-broccoli-sprout teenager)
I wonder if organic chocolate will do the job(like organic duck being sculpted with skill from tofu skin) instead.
